Monday, October 18, 2010

Blah Blah Blah

So I re-read my post from Friday and realized that since I haven't posted everything that's happened with the landscaper's mom from the time I met her up until now, that her asking me to befriend her son doesn't really seem like that big of a deal.  And normally, I'd agree.  But if you knew the whole back story from beginning to end, you might understand a little more why I have no interest in becoming friends with her son.  I've found her to be an overbearing woman and I really have no need for her drama in my life.  I don't care for her and try to avoid her but I almost feel like she follows me around like a puppy when I go in to volunteer and tries to engage me in coversation about her son.

I'm very negative by nature and I don't like that about myself.  I'm trying to change that and make this a positive place to visit.  That's why I participate in Half Full Friday's, to remind myself that not everything in my life is bad.  I have to write down the good things as they happen, otherwise when Friday rolls around, I struggle to think of a single thing that made me happy during the week.  Anyways, in an effort to keep this a positive place, I've decided I'm just not going to talk about the landscaper or his mom anymore, unless something really major happens.   
Source:  weheartit
Last week was a little depressing anyways just because I lost my job one year ago this past Wednesday.  My birthday's are usually just like any other day so last year I decided I wanted to make it memorable.  I tried to skydive the weekend before as a present to myself because it's something I've always wanted to do.  I got up in the plane but the sky was too cloudy and the plane couldn't get up high enough through the clouds to be able to jump.  Then on my birthday, I didn't feel well and had to attend a mandatory day long meeting for work.  And then the next day, I got fired.  So it was sure memorable alright, just not in the way I would've wanted.  A year has passed and I'm not any closer to finding a job. 

I do feel better about my future than I did a year ago, at least.  I got a really good pell grant that essentially makes my education free for the semester (I'll have to pay for books and things still) and I feel like that's too good to turn down.  I still have people trying to decide for me what I should go to school for but it's my life, my decision.  My father doesn't seem very supportive of my decision to go back to school but again - my life, my decision!  My unemployment ends at the end of November so I still have December to worry about.  I feel like all signs are pointing towards going to school so I'm just going to have faith that God will get me through December somehow and then I'll start school in January.  And hopefully the economy will be better if four years so I'll be able to find a better job.
Source:  weheartit
I attended a day long conference on Saturday for the other volunteer project I work on.  It was going well until near the end when I was told that people didn't connect to the ceremony I put together for the last project.  I felt really bad because I worked long and hard on it.  It also made me wonder why they asked me to come back and do it again next year in the same capacity.

16 showed me some love:

Life With Dogs said...

You know, I'm a pessimist by nature, and little things like Half Full Friday can do wonders for turning your thinking.
And I think school was a great idea. But you already knew that. :)

jen said...

I struggle to stay positive too, but I am working on it!

Sorry to hear about the rough year you had last year, but hopefully things will continue to improve for and before you know it you will be done with school and in a great job:)

~KS said...

I'm so sorry your last birthday was ruined by life's black cloud :( And I was very negative for a long time too. I think it's easier to be negative than positive. I made a choice years ago to be positive... but it was definitely a choice. And I have to work at it every day. But life is so much better this way...
Keep the faith. Believe God has a plan for you because he does. And you will be led right where you need to be :)

Maggie Mae said...

Sometimes staying positive is hard buts you have many furiends who luvs you and are sending you puppy prayers to helps you, like me! :)

WOofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

Mr. Pip said...

Hang in there! Make the most of school and everything will be alright! I think I may be a bit older than you ... it took me about 35 years to realize that my life was my own and I didn't have to listen to everyone else. It sounds like you are taking charge of your life and that's GREAT!

Here's a quote that always helps me - "when everything is uncertain than anything is still possible"

Kristin, Pip's mom

Draco and his Mom said...

Good for you going for the positive can be hard sometimes. Things can be really rough, but you can make it through. Just keep going one step, one day at a time. You will do good in school.

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

I am so glad you are going to go to school. Just try to stay positive and move forward day by day. I do understand the pessimism too. I recently had a huge disappointment in mi life that has colored so much of what I do. It's been a tough one to get over, but I keep trying.

Half Full Friday is always one of my favorite posts:)

Frankie Furter said...

School is the way to go... the target to aim for.. and the means to reach the end.

Velvet Over Steel said...

It is your life and you are doing Great! I agree, all signs are pointing in the direction of school & it is going to help you find a job... not doubt about that. My parents never supported me going back to school either.. so I didn't go for very long. I would do that differently today, now that I'm stronger, etc.

I am very prould of you for hanging in there and making a plan for the future! You have taught me so much & helped me find my way in this blogging world many times. Thank you! & hand in there! YOUR DOING GREAT!!

Blessings, Hugh Hug & lots of love to you! ~ Coreen

Zuzana said...

What a beautiful and reflective post.;) I too at times feel when I write things down, like you do in your post, it puts my life into perspective. It is like I can see it all clearly and realize many things at the same time. Such as that there is so much in my life that is good and there is always a way.;)
I am keeping my fingers crossed that bright future is ahead of you and in my book, going back to school is so very brave.;))
Have a lovely day dear friend,
xoxo

The Life of Riley said...

Years ago I read these words by Steve Vaught on his website,


"It really is a simple matter of deciding what is important and focusing on that. Then leave behind all of the other things that do not enhance the quality of your life."


It’s true. If your time and thoughts are spent on the past, things that don’t matter or situations you don't like then change things. Volunteer somewhere else, use your time differently, spend your time with different people.

There is only one you, and when you get to my age, you realise that unless you want to be just a puppet for others to manipulate by allowing their comments and reactions to affect what you do, diminish how you feel and take up your time (which is something I’ve struggled with in the past) you have to live your own life. We all only get one life – so use it well, reread the above quote and start now :)

Zona said...

First - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! So sorry I missed it.

Being pawsitive is difficult for some two-leggers. We pups are always happy and resilient so sometimes it's hard for me to understand. But my mom says our upbeat nature helps her on her bad days.

Even though it can be tough, thanks for Half Full Fridays!

Wags,
Zona

Dip-Dip and The Bridge said...

Sometimes life can be very hard and very unfair. It is to your credit that you try to take pleasure in the little things that make life worthwhile like your dogs, a nice cup of coffee, a little trip somewhere.
Thanks to your half full Friday I try to think of one thing every night that has made my day better and it always cheers me up.
You have lots of great possibilities ahead with your new qualifications that you will get from going back to school, next birthday could be the best one yet!
Lynne xx

the booker man said...

miss sprinkles,
you've had a tough year, and i can totally understand how it would be hard to be thinkin' on the bright side of thingies. but you didn't give up and you got accepted to your college and you got a grant and you are gonna do so grrreat! the factoid to remember is that God always provides what we need, even when we have troubles believin' that He will. :)

*woof*
the booker man

pee s -- i'm sorry my video thingie was bein' a poopy pants for you. :(

Melissa (A Gracious Calm) said...

Well congrats on winning the grant. I meant to tell you that earlier but I've been such a procrastinator lately.

And I'm glad you're trying to focus on good things! Hopefully you'll soon have nothing but good things to focus on.

Doris Sturm said...

So, you never got to try going skydiving again? Will you try it again later? It would scare me, but I always wanted to go hot air ballooning. I might ask to have a parachute on, though, just in case ;-)

That mother of the landscaper sounds to me like she's desperate to fix her son up. Does he live at home with her? She's probably anxious for grandkids. Maybe she has an agenda...

I would not say "never look back unless you are going that way" because if someone is following or trying to sneak up on you or if you have kids, you need to look in all directions LOL

I thought you had some leads for some jobs? Didn't you have some promising interviews? I will continue to wish you luck and hope something will turn up soon!

Have a nice weekend!
Doris and Gizzy :-)

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