So about 87 years ago, I graduated from high school and went directly to beauty school. The cosmetology course was a year or so long. I stayed with my parents for the first six months and moved to the town where the school was located for the final six months.
I had never lived on my own before and found it difficult to adjust. Shortly after moving to my new home, a neighbor from across the street came over to introduce himself. He invited me and my new roommate to join him and his teenage son for dinner the following evening. That neighbor was Bob.
Maybe a month or so later, Bob's son moved to another state to live with his mom, Bob's ex-wife. Bob was alone and had empty nest syndrome. He just didn't know what to do with himself. He came over a lot and when he wasn't over at my house, he was inviting me to his.
We soon became quite close. He took me out to dinner a lot and to the movies or shopping or sometimes just out for a drive. For the first time in my life, I felt loved. He never once made a move on me, never! He never asked for or expected anything in return other than my friendship. He gave me so much more than I ever gave him. He was interested in ME, he made time for ME, he was always on MY side no matter the situation, he always wanted to know how I felt about things, etc. I had never experienced that before, not even really from my parents. It was all about me.
Eventually, several other roommates moved in to an already crowded house. It was difficult and we often fought. The worse the situation got, the more time I spent with Bob.
Six months passed quickly. Some of the roomates had moved out but I was still at war with the one that remained. Rather than continue to be in that stressful situation, I decided to move back home. Bob had offered to let me live with him in the spare bedroom his son had once used but I opted to move back in with my parents. Sadly, our relationship was never the same after this.
Several months later, Bob met and married a woman rather quickly. They had a son and lived happily ever after, or so I thought! I'd hear from them now and again but not too often. They divorced a few years later.
The ex, whom I had never really gotten to know very well, somehow got my address and mailed me a letter. The letter was quite shocking! I wasn't aware of the divorce or what had led to it. She said that he abused her and their son repeatedly and had even tried to kill her! I had never seen that side of Bob and didn't know what to make of this information so I ignored it. I didn't respond to her and wasn't sure how to get in touch with Bob as she'd said in the letter that she'd retained the house and that he'd moved out. Many months later, she called and left me a voice mail. I was hesitant to call her back but finally did. She told me horror stories of the abuse she'd endured. I didn't know whether to believe her or not. I had never gotten to know her at all and as I said, I'd never seen that side of Bob.
I never heard from her or Bob again. I've thought of him from time to time and wondered if the ex's story was true. I never took the time to track him down and I regret that now! He was there for me at a time in my life when I truly needed someone to take care of me emotionally when I didn't know how to take care of myself. And for that, I will remain forever grateful!
Last week, my mom showed the obituaries and pointed out a name. She asked me, "Is that your Bob?" It was. I didn't cry but it upset me and I've thought about him every day since. A lot of memories have come rushing back and I miss him.
Where ever you are Bob, may you forever Rest In Peace!
