Friday, May 31, 2013

Struggling to understand...

Several years ago, a woman was raped and murdered here.  I didn't know her, but her story was all over the news for weeks.  It went unsolved up until about a month or so ago.

If you were following my blog waaaaaay back in 2011, you may have read this post about Bob.  Why am I bringing this up now, I'm sure you're wondering.  The rapist and murderer?  The teenage son mentioned in that particular post!  The son's name is Pat.  He was already in jail for life for a different heinous crime when police matched his DNA with some found on the murder victim.

I knew this kid when he was a teenager.  I hung out with him regularly, sometimes alone.  He never once made any attempt to hurt me, or made me feel unsafe or uncomfortable in any way.  I liked him and never got any sense of danger from him.  He moved about a month or so after I first met him, and I didn't see him again for a long while.  I just thought he was basically a good kid with a few problems.  He even went to church regularly.

I thought I knew him.  I thought I knew a lot of his history.  Turns out I only knew a very small part of it, and that I never really knew him at all!  I'm still in shock and not sure how to process it all.

After all this went down, I called Bob's ex-wife because I'm nosy.  I figured maybe she would share a bit of gossip, or maybe even shed some light on why he would commit such a horrific crime.  It was an awkward conversation, and the only thing she really shared is that she and Bob tried to turn Pat in back then.  They didn't know for a fact that Pat had done it, but thought the witness sketch looked a bit like Pat.  She also said Pat had been acting "squirrelly" that particular weekend, although she didn't elaborate on that point.  She and Bob went to the police with their suspicions, but the police didn't seem all that interested in talking with them.  She figured she'd done her part and left it at that.

I found out from Bob's ex and from the news that apparently Pat has quite an extensive criminal background.  How does someone who is seemingly so normal commit such an awful, awful crime?  I know he knows right from wrong.  How did he turn out to be such a monster?  How does he live with himself, knowing each day that he took an innocent life?  Does he have no conscience?

This has all been really shocking, and I almost feel obsessed with the case.  I keep trying to find more information about it, which really isn't all that smart of me.  I think I'm just looking for answers to questions that never will be answered.  He's already in prison for life, now prosecutors are considering whether to try for the death penalty on this case.

The biggest lesson I've learned out of all of this?  You can never *truly* know a person or what they're capable of.

7 showed me some love:

Corbin said...

What an emotional thing to go through. Some people are just wired wrong. So sad for the girl who's life he took, but thankfully it wasn't yours and you were never harmed!

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

I have always heard that you never know a person unless you have LIVED WITH or WORKED WITH them.

Sketching with Dogs said...

They always say you can never see what is in another person's mind. It must be very strange to actually know someone who does something like that and I can see how you would want to try and find out about the case, I would be the same. It must seem unbelievable that this is the same boy you used to hang out with.
Lynne x

Finn said...

So true. I am sorry that it happened to someone who you were acquainted with.

Jenny Woolf said...

I am not surprised you feel shocked. I would too. It's unpleasant when something we've relied on is taken away, even if we don't think that thing was an important part of our life. Pat wasn't central in your life, but the idea that you could assess and judge people was. Yes, I can see how this can make you feel obsessed with getting to the bottom of it. But I think you're halfway there, with your comment that you can never really know someone. That is so very true.

Kim@stuffcould.... said...

I feel the same way as you do....I dont understand it

Unknown said...

You're so right - you really can never totally know a person. I always wonder about those poor wives (or husbands) of serial killers - or even mothers! - and wonder how they feel and if they had any inkling! I sometimes think that I don't know myself what I would be capable of...until I get put in a certain situation.

I think it's quite natural that you want to more answers.

What a horrible situation and thing to have happened!


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